Most of the times something or other goes on in my mind and
so when I cannot talk, I write. So I love
writing. I need to pour out my thoughts or else I feel flooded; flooded with my
own thoughts. And floods remind me of
nature. I see my thoughts’, my feelings’ reflection in the nature. Those beautiful
rains make us either ecstatic or forlorn; may be because we get to see what joy
is and what grief is in the form of rains. It is as if there is something
inside us which we know exists, but can’t define. I mean those feelings do
exist. It’s just that they need to be manifested in some physical form for me
to witness them; in a smile on our face for others to see, and in the nature
for us to see.
And so I look outside and search for tangible forms of all
that is intangible, there inside me to be viewed, appreciated, criticised and
analysed by me..!
Words for me are like a mirror. I can see myself. I can read
myself and so I can come closer to myself and love myself consciously.
So as I said when there are too much of things going on in
one’s mind, it’s better to dispense them. In my case I have to do it. In my
third year of college, a professor mistakenly gave me detention (wherein I was barred from sitting through exams) in two of my
subjects. It obviously worried me a lot and I knew that there was no use of worrying.
But I was not able to control my worrying and was feeling bullied by my
thoughts. I tried to emasculate them and so I scribbled the following lines on
a rough sheet of paper:
So this moment
gains weight
as many
thoughts proliferate
This is not the
right time
so I ask them
to just wait….
But my mind has
no place
nowhere to make
them stay
and for a while
I say,
“Please, these thoughts
need some rest with such a pace
that they are incessantly
moving at..”
But my plead is
caged in a bubble
No one listens
and it goes to waste
So I tell my
thoughts in order to direct them,
“You have to go
far, very far, and so go, segregate..”
And they do so
sincerely obeying me
in spite of
knowing the fact
that I’m
putting them on the wrong track
and that they
ought to be together in a group to affect me,
torture me and bully
me to their best
They know that
I’m trying to mislead them
But they still
go on different tracks..!
But how could I
underestimate these thoughts
Of course, they
follow my order of getting dispersed as they very well know that
they can still
gain weight, enough weight
by producing
some and orienting other thoughts with each of them
And so, as my
efforts go in vain
this moment
still gains weight..
Yes, my thoughts mushroomed
and at that moment I did get worried to a certain extent, while I was jotting
down the above lines, but afterwards, writing it down not just distracted me
from my previous state of mind (i.e. the one before writing down the above
lines), it also did make me feel better, much better!
And my efforts eventually did not
go in vain and the moments felt light.
So, try out this writing exercise and
disorient your thoughts whenever they try to appropriate your peace of mind. The
thoughts will try their best to club themselves to get powerful, but you have
to keep fighting and trust me you will succeed in the end. So don’t let such
worrisome thoughts bog you down and after you write, you will feel remarkably
well.
image source: http://www.markjonespainter.com/Image%20Pages/Troubled%20Mind.htm
image source: http://www.markjonespainter.com/Image%20Pages/Troubled%20Mind.htm
