Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Omitted

After a while as I was filling an application form today, I realized that I was missing the alphabet ‘e’ repeatedly. We all, I suppose, usually omit random alphabets while writing. That happens. What took my attention today was that I was omitting only ‘e’.
May be I was tired. Even though I skip every time, ‘e’ in the word haven’t, just because at some time during my teenager years, I had developed the habit of using SMS lingo, all the time. Still, it bothered me. Only if I could erase memory of this incident! Yes the movie, ‘Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’ came to my mind, but other things, as usual, also followed..

I imagined a scenario with my family and me, sitting together, chatting, smiling, enjoying. And then suddenly, I vanishing, dissolving in the air, omitted from the scene. It would happen instantly.
I would evaporate in the frozen time.
And then my memories getting erased from family’s minds.
They would be confused later, seeing a cup of tea, my clothes lying on my seat. Their confused senses would sense something amiss. My belongings, photographs, voice recordings, cards, gifts, poems, writings that will catch them eventually will force them to think. They would try to establish my identity and their relationship with me, but it would go in vain.
Then, they would try to understand their habits related to me. My mom coming to my room in morning to switch off the night lamp, but finding no one in the room. My sister dialing my number not knowing whom to talk to. The sudden free time left in the life of those that otherwise was spent talking to me. The habits would frustrate them. But then they are ‘Habits’. With time, habit without purpose erodes away. It is transient in nature. And if the essence of the habit is not reminded, it is forgotten.  My vanishing into the infinite followed by a short phase of vanishing habits will be all. They would eventually then go on. They wouldn’t place the omitted in their lives.

I have had such friends in many phases of my life without whom I used to think life would cease to exist. Now I just remember their names and very few things related to those times spent with them. New people came in and took their places which obviously happened in a very gradual way. They have been like different curtains on windows of my life with different capabilities of filtering light. I got used to all of them till they vanished or were substituted.

What bothers me the most is the fact that we people render nothing worthy, because everything and everyone, times spent in joy and oblivion, enemies and loved ones, at some point of time under some reasonable situations and circumstances can be logically forgotten.
We take pride at something and next moment we delete it. It doesn’t really matter, even if it is restored to its original place from the recycle bin. It loses it’s worth.
 Once omitted, remains omitted forever, even if it is re-established strongly in darker shades.
It is a very strange fact that the ‘Omission’ leaves the darkest mark; darker than any shade of insertion. And yet we skip the ‘Omitted’.

Synthesize the pigments of sorrow, indifference and joy
And color the time with them, it doesn’t matter if you are color blind
as you spread the sheet of time around yourself
and dip the brush of your actions in tears, waterfalls and brine
make it beautiful with shades of success and romance
and then cherish it; I say, hold it high in the day light
and if you don’t like some part or shade of it
bring it and see it with a different aspect, under a different colored lamp
you will then feel the beauty again
and the sorrow will camouflage with joy surrounding
The whole process of painting goes on, on the same canvass
Your dimensions change with each painting
Then one day when your skin and hair would have changed their color
try to place that lovely shade you had once spotted on the canvass
which you had held high with the satisfaction of a monk
with a blissful smile of a first-time-in-life-proud child
You may not find it and the worst being, you may not miss it at all!!
For it would have been omitted from your mind
Like the dreams you ride between sunset and sunrise..

 Image source:


Thursday, April 26, 2012


A simple logic that runs through my mind
A hard truth which is equally hard to grind
is that world that we are possessed by
is unfaithful to everybody who is alive..

And we still have faith in it despite
Our logic that doesn’t fit in the given attire
And I wonder what is it that’s mine
irrespective of all the knowledge and quagmire..
And I wonder how do I know who is mine
irrespective of this cycle of death and life..

A sinking feeling then makes me realize
the depth of simplicity that I have taken in hand so easily
A negative feeling, in me that balloons inside,
then feels the pressure of the positivity in the air outside..
But it keeps soaring high in the sky
And I wonder when the balloon would deflate into nothing…

The complexity has churned nothing out of my head
And to contemplate upon what they and I said
has lost its charm as it doesn’t seem to help!!
So what do I do? Others say that I should take some rest
and spare them from the torture of  the whips of the simple and the complex!
But I say someone would foresee, someone would understand
The need to mull over the seen and unseen, heard and unheard, fought and abandoned..

Well I suggest that this complexity is an exercise to understand the simple
And our logic and thoughts are nothing but ripples
that arise out of some disturbance, good or bad, in our lives..
So let’s just sit quietly at a river bank, under shade of a tree
And drink the beauty of those ripples appearing, swimming, and disappearing
caused by nothing but by pebbles of those moments…

image source:

Sunday, April 8, 2012

The Fugitive

A lonely street I see, in front of me
Full of people’s dreams floating in the air
It makes me wonder, “Where is my sleep?”
This night is passing away,
 And the dawn is near

I try to listen to the sound of tip toe
Somewhere I know I’ll find it if I follow
But it seems all I hear, is my panting breath
And even my heart beats have gone low
Where are you my slippery sleep?
What have you slipped into? Where did you go?

To my left and right, I toss and toss
My now straight legs I then again cross
In my mind I still wander here and there
This consciousness, now my mind cannot bear
Someone tell me where are my dreams, where?
Can’t you see my helplessness now bare…?

I’m on the verge of giving up now
The sun is rising  and  the sky has allowed
The birds to fly towards the horizon
And as I see the scene outside my window so mesmerizing
“Forget it..!!”, I say, springing out of my bed
Why should I mourn over my sleep which has fled…?

A rusty book I see, in front of me
Full of hazy words floating in there
It makes me wonder, “where is my sleep?..!!”
The book from my hands is slipping away
.........And my sleep is finally near……! 


Thursday, April 5, 2012

Stirring The Wonderful

At the behest of my own knowledge
I consider myself and you as one
But Oh Dear! Do I have to take any pledge
before I profess such statement?
Anyhow, I think I still craze
for those moments that passed by
without our permission they crossed
the territories of our then present..
Tell me, tell me please
Can we ever retrieve them?

And even though we compose new music now
You see I have my favorites that I want to rewind
And those templates of the past that once menaced
I wish I could play with them once again this time
And those street lights that behind us flashed once
the darkest phase of our lives had lit when
And that light music that played in our loud heart beats’ presence
Yes I remember that time that left such deep dent
I don’t want to get it repaired and cherish it instead!

Only if I could get into the memories in my head for real
I would sneak into that world and get it sealed
But tell me if you would accompany me in this endeavor
because without you every world is rendered
colorless whether real or fiction..
Will you sip the drink of magic
that I will create for us to enter our dreams
or are we expected to stay lethargic?
and just miss helplessly those moments that still gleam..
I also wish I could somehow get
new lyrics for the old times, the music that we once played
and fresh dialogues and gestures to recreate
some moments that we didn’t live to the fullest..

But why should I mull over the bygones
when distance has followed our decision
of staying away from each other?
In such case, how shall we ever
expect to do the justice to our past?
May be we should just move forward
with a bag of things we managed to escape which
otherwise would have left us in the endless stream of spent years

Eight pairs of 3D glasses, that parking lot and bus tickets
the expired Barista cards, the ring made instantly out of the grass
flower petals, a black cap, and defunct earphones,
the tissue paper on which we played the game of criss-cross
and other remnants of that glorious time
I carry them all with me stirring the wonderful in my mind
and with them I make this dim conduit of your absence a little bright..